3 years have passed since my last blog...opps! So much of living life has gone into those 3 years! We bought a house and took "career" jobs. Our older son bought his first home about 2 hours away and our younger son spent some time in Germany. We have chickens :)
Life has marched on for us! It's been 'quiet' since returning from Germany. After so many years in ministry, pastoring, restoring churches, being on the road, pouring ourselves out over and over had taken its toll. When we realized we were unexpectedly 'settling down' it was hard. I felt 'washed up', soul-tired, a little lost. God, in his gracious way, led me through each stage of what I felt. He allowed me to take my time and sat with me when I was not quite ready to move on. He gently prodded when I stayed to long. He has shown up and showed off like only he can!!
I believe these last few years have been for our boys sake. They needed the stability of 'normal' everyday life. They needed the advanced education they found by being able to mix college with high-school. They needed to find themselves outside of their parents ministry!
God has been so faithful through this time. He has brought so much joy, peace and endless blessings. I have always said I have loved each chapter of life, however, there is something about this chapter that I am enjoying above all others! Seeing my boys mature into men and finding friendship with them. Growing older with Michael. Finding myself. Finding the beauty each morning when I see the handiwork of God in the clouds. So many things I am grateful for!
A story in the Bible caught my attention the other day and I have been thinking about it. John 5:1-9. It is the story of the lame man that lay near the pool of Bethesda. He had laid there for 38 years!! Jesus happened by one day and asked him "Would you like to be made well?" Instead of saying a resounding "YES" the man had an excuse. "I can't sir, I have no one to put me into the pool when the water bubbles up, someone always gets there ahead of me." A little background on the story-when the water was 'bubbling' only the first person to step into it was healed!
Let's take a deeper look into this story.
We don't know how old the man is. I don't think he was born lame. I think he had a full life before something happened to him. Maybe a horse accident, war injury, or a sickness left him lame. Whatever the reason, he was left at the pool to try to gain access to his healing. He was also left because he was a burden to those around him. "I have no-one."
I wonder if at first he stayed right next to the water, just waiting for it to bubble up. He knew if he could just roll into the water he would be healed. Year 1 bubbles- someone from the back runs into the water right as he begins to roll. Disappointment courses through his body, he determines he will be faster the next time. Year 2 bubbles- the lady sitting on the other side of the pool jumps in. He thinks 'how am I ever going to be the first one in? So many broken people all around me. So many others more qualified then me to access the water first."
Throughout the next few years he becomes friends with more and more of the people around him. The next bubbling of the water he is towards to middle of the group playing a game with some of the guys. Things are becoming comfortable for him. He begins to forget that he is there for the healing water. Of course, some days are harder than others and sometimes he still drags himself near the water to touch it and hope it will begin to bubble.
Further into his stay he moves towards the back. Thoughts of healing become less and less as he begins to accept where he is in life. The water bubbles but he hardly looks up anymore. He is to busy playing games and talking about life around him. He has stopped dreaming, stopped hoping, stopped believing. He has accepted that there will always be someone else that is faster, better, more qualified then him. He has accepted that he has no one to love him, nor provide a move to the water when it bubbles. He has accepted that he will never have more of a life then he has right now.
He has forgotten what it means to be made whole.
"Would you like to get well?"
"I can't, sir! I don't know if I have the faith. I have forgotten what it would be like to be out of this place of stagnancy. I have accepted this lot in life. Someone else is more deserving than me. My dreams have dried up. I am forgotten."
What is your excuse??
Maybe at first you didn't mean to surrender your God given dreams. You held them close, holding them oh so close to your heart. Dreaming day by day as you sat at your heavenly Father's feet. Believing all the promises you read in the Bible were for you. Trusting God had "big things" for your life. Sharing the love of Jesus with everyone you knew. Praying with a heart ablaze with belief.
Little by little life began to eat away at you. Worry, fear, self-doubt began to ever so slowly creep in. Little by little your soul was torn. Little by little you gave away your freedom and accepted the things life started to hand you. Little by little you let go of your dreams and began to clutch insecurity, anxiety, depression. Little by little you gave up, you allowed darkness to cover the bright light that once radiated out from the very depths of you.
"Would you like to get well?"
"But sir I can't. I don't deserve to dream anymore. I don't deserve to work for you. I am a mess. I am defined by where I am now. Someone else is special, more deserving of your grace."
Jesus says, "stand up, pick up your mat and walk."
"That's enough, NO more excuses. Stand up, walk out of the shadows of who you've become. Dream again, hope anew, believe my thoughts towards you are that of a loving father. You are enough. I have called you. I have equipped you. Let go of the lies you hold so tightly to. Give them to me and I will give you what I promised."
INSTANTLY, the man was healed! He rolled up his mat and began walking! Just like that you will be restored if you but call on the name of the Lord! You will not have to beg, barter, nor work yourself back into his 'good graces.' Instantly, he wants to bring you into a right relationship with him.
SO the question God is asking you today is, "my Son, my Daughter, would you like to get well?"
